The Situation:
“I work at a job that I loathe. I dislike my boss, and I am unmotivated. I get headaches quite often when I’m here. I dread getting up in the mornings, and I feel out of alignment with my life’s passions.

“I read the comments on your blog and I see these ‘happy, shiny people.’ I want to be a ‘happy, shiny person’ and pursue my dreams. I know what I want out of life, all I need is a better paying job where I am happy. And also, some more money would be handy.

“I read your blogs, and they’re wonderful, but I feel so ‘disconnected.’ I do affirmations and it feels like everything gets worse and it overwhelms me. I think there may be self sabotage programming at play.

“I feel like my spirit is telling me to resign, but I am afraid that I won’t have the money. Also, there is nobody that I can ask for cash.”

The Question:
How to support this tired spirit?

In fact, who here used to live like this, and transformed their experience to be “happy & shiny”?  What thoughts, resources or actions served you best to get you from out of alignment and into happy days?

Thanks in advance for your words of wisdom for this searching spirit.

Related posts:

1. Happy to Be Sad?
2. Q&A: How to Believe a Relationship Will Happen?
3. Official Retraction: Russ’ Money Love

She believed once she had her right guy that her future would be secure, her children would behave better, her day job would become optional, someone else would mow the lawn, and her happiness level would go through the roof.

So she divorced her current husband to make room for a better one (certain that her current husband was her biggest problem in life), and eventually found a dream come true guy.

From what I can tell, this guy is fabulous: devoted, faithful, romantic, gorgeous, makes great money at a good job, treats her (and her family) like gold, was thrilled to marry her …

… and yet, this girlfriend is anything but the deliriously happy version of herself she imagined she’d be once Mr. Right showed up.

No surprise to us creators, right?

We know the fallacy of falling for the belief that something or someone will make us feel better. 

(At least – on our good days, we remember.)

We know that responsibility for how we feel is strictly ours. 

We’ve all seen what happens when someone hitches their wagon to the “circumstance” they think will bring them a “happily ever after” … either they spend their lives chasing the elusive dream that they never get lined up with – OR – they get it and are disappointed it’s not all it was supposed to be.

(Can you tell I’ve been there, done that?  I know whereof I speak.)

But we don’t have to have lived this already to understand it.  We know nothing happens that we’re not energetically lined up for, and that we are in charge of how we feel – it’s not dictated by our life circumstances.

Which is why I get a little irked every time I hear a deliberate creator talk about how excited they’ll be to win the lottery.

Before your feathers ruffle, let me clarify. 

I have nothing against money.  Especially big easy money. 

I am, in fact, a huge fan of big easy money.

But I am not a fan of seeing powerful creators attach themselves to an outcome that can’t possibly happen when they think a winning ticket will “save their day.”

If you think your day needs saving, and you think the lottery can do that for you, you are forgetting how this all works.

The same way my girlfriend was nuts to think a different guy could change her life happiness, we are insane to believe that a windfall of cash will make us feel better. 

It doesn’t.

It can’t.

Only YOU can make yourself feel better.

And when you feel better, guess what?  You don’t care about winning the lottery!

Now, I have lots of colleagues and friends (including my fabulous Dad – Happy Father’s Day, Dad!) who play the lottery for fun. 

I’m not talking about you guys. 

I’m talking about the folks who pin their hopes and dreams on using the law of attraction to win the lottery and change their life forever the better.

The Universe can’t deliver what you’re not lined up for.  So whatever you think a lotto win will do for you – you might want to bring that responsibility back home. 

Because the lottery can’t make you happy, secure, free, or even rich.  (And despite popular opinion, you don’t have to hear too many real life stories about lottery winners to know that.)

I’m also not saying winning the lotto is always an unhappy ending.  

I’m just saying lotto money will do for you whatever you’re already flowing.  (Which is why my girlfriend is her same old unhappy self with her fabulous new guy.) 

Like Alexander Green quotes in The Secret of Shelter Island, “Money doesn’t change who you are, it magnifies who you are.”

So instead of intending to win the lottery, how about instead we intend to be happy?  Since that’s all we want anyway!    

How about instead of dreaming up winning numbers, let’s take a few moments to count how we’ve already won the lottery?  (I got to be born here now!  On a planet where the skies are blue and there are over 300 brands of chocolate!  At a time where we have fabulously adventurous contrast to explore with the most amazing friends for the journey!  I could go on, but soapboxes probably aren’t the best vibe …)

My point being that if you think the lottery can change your life for the better, you are mistaken.  Only you can do that.  And when you do do that (change your life for the better), you won’t be so attached to lottery tickets.

Yes, Dad, I know – unless you’re buying them for fun.  I get it.

And the first person who posts here asking for tips on how to use law of attraction to win the lottery, I swear to God, I will make you read Money Mojo Magic or some other suitable reminder to get your money vibe straightened out once and for all.

(Although it is always fun to hear Abraham on this topic.)

While I am feeling feisty here, I am also totally open to seeing how I’ve got this wrong, if you care to share.  Or if you think I haven’t stated the point clearly or strongly enough.

Your thoughts?

Related posts:

1. Using Law of Attraction to Win the Lottery
2. No One Wants to Win the Lottery
3. Ted’s Hundred Grand

It’s a big deal.

But when Alice sees the enormously intimidating Jabberwocky, she says, “This is impossible.”

Mad Hatter replies, “Only if you believe it is.”

Alice then recalls that sometimes she “believes in as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” (A habit she learned from dad.)

Hatter replies, “That is an excellent practice.”  And suggests it’s time to focus on the Jabberwocky!

As the ferocious creature approaches, Alice lifts her sword and begins a recitation that deliberate creators would do well to note.

She says out loud to herself, eyes fixed on her impossible goal ahead:

“Six impossible things.  Count them, Alice.

“One.  There’s a potion that can make you shrink.
“Two.  A cake that can make you grow.
“Three.  Animals can talk.”

Jabberwocky slams Alice to the ground with a slice of its enormous tail.

Undeterred, Alice continues her recital as she picks herself off the ground.

“Four.  Cats can disappear.
“Five.  There’s a place called Wonderland.

* * * Spoiler alert! If you haven’t already seen this delightfully dark show, come back later. * * *

Alice finishes her powerful impossible recital with:

“Six.  I can slay the jabberwocky.”

Which is exactly what she does.

Alice draws from the impossible things she’s already known to be true, in order to accomplish the next impossible thing required of her.

I have a couple of heroes who achieved the impossible in their day (Florence Scovel-Shinn, Beatrix Potter, Pollyanna, Ellen Ripley, Joan Jett, etc.).

But Tim Burton’s Alice from Wonderland is my newest role model.

When everyone is telling her what must happen, Alice says with conviction, “This is my dream. I’ll decide where it goes from here. I make the path.”

She returns to her old world to make the difficult decisions and do the impossible things in her real life: saying no to the marriage proposal she was supposed to say yes to, speaking her mind to a couple of ornery relatives, and leaving the party she had no desire to be at.

Like all good happy endings, Alice’s forthright attitude catches the attention of the successful businessman who funds her adventurous trading trip to China.

Here’s to all of us being just as deliberate and brave as Alice when it comes to achieving our own impossible things.

(And you know I want to hear what your “impossible made possible” things are!  Share below if you want to play along.)

Related posts:

1. 25 Random Things – LOA Style
2. Good Old Affirmations
3. The Michael Scott Sabotage: How to Spoil Your Success LOA Style

Saturday night my sweetie* came home from the first day of a weekend golf tournament feeling anxious.

Not because his game sucked that day, but because it was just the opposite.

He played well enough to be in the hunt for the win, and thus knew it was shaping up to play out like every other high pressure tournament of his where:

He does great in the beginning; and the better he does, the more he chokes.

Case in point is last month’s spring tournament, where he handed over a two stroke lead due to his complete and pure choking the last two holes of the game.

For those international readers not familiar with this slang term, choking is defined as: “to become too tense or nervous to perform well.”

The term may have originated from when women accused as witches were forced to swallow a communion wafer as a test.  To choke on the wafer (which, considering the stakes, wouldn’t be surprising) was to fail the test.

Here’s an entertaining list of famous chokes which I don’t recommend reading.

Anyway, Russ recounted several recent stories of his typical “fade out.”  In unconscious rehearsal for another one.

He said his golf god and mentor, Rick G., told him he needed to get his head straight if he expected to take home the titles he was capable of winning.

I agreed!

And even knowing he treats my suggestions as a joke (I can still hear him laughing about “making friends with the tree” and rolling his eyes at the “I am a good putter!” mantra I advised) – despite that, I wasn’t deterred in sharing my tip for bringing home this win.

Since it was the pressure of being so close to winning that was messing up his game, I asked when he played his best golf.

He thought for a second and quickly responded, “At work.”

(Yes, he gets to play golf at work.  Rough life, I know.)

They have a work league  and the other day someone introduced him as “the best golfer in our league.”

Which is probably accurate, much because playing with these guys doesn’t matter all that much.  There are no sought after titles or shiny trophies or big pots at stake.  But there is some fun competition for bragging rights.  No big deal.

So I suggested he pretend he’s just golfing for work, while he was playing the second day at this tournament.

“When you feel pressure creeping in just say to yourself, ‘It’s just another day at work.  No one cares.  It’s just the work league.’”

He was polite enough not to roll his eyes.

To bring the point home, I told him my stories about:

• when I have a big audience on a call I pretend it’s a small one to not get freaked out.
• I shared about how when one of the animals is at the vet getting a serious test and I’m anxious about the results, I pretend the vet’s already called saying, “Everything’s fine.”
• and how when I’m on a date with a totally hot guy I pretend it’s already a given that he wants to see me again.  (Okay, I didn’t tell him about that one, but I thought it.)

It makes a difference in the vibe to play this pretending game.  Even though it’s totally made up.

So without making too much fun of me off he went to play day two, positioned in fifth place after first day standings.

It would require some good golf to pull off that win.

Which is exactly what he did!

He came home with a lovely trophy and a big smile, shooting a 69 to win three strokes ahead of the runner up.

He talked about how on the fourth hole where he duck-hooked it the first day to miss the green by 20 yards – this time he “stuck it three feet.”  From bogey on Saturday to birdie on Sunday.  (Whatever all that means.  All I understood was that it was a nice comeback.)

I asked what made the difference.

He said he slowed his game down and repeated to himself over and over when he started feeling tense, “work league, work league, work league.”  He laughed as he told me about it.

I was incredulous.  My sweetie?!  Listened and applied?!  Woo Hoo!!

That’s the true miracle here in this story - don’t give up on our stubborn sweeties. 

But the real reason I share this story – besides that Nancy suggested it would make a good blog post after she read about it at GVU – is to point out how simple it can be to turn things around.

In the words of my sweetie (from an email to his son):

I had a completely different mindset on Sunday and tried to relax and think of it as just another work match, where I am considered the best player in the league.  It worked – credit goes to Jeannette who gave me the idea on the new thought process.  I also slowed everything and tried to be more patient.

Ahhhh.

My work here is done. 

And it’s also where Nancy and Laura’s work begins.

Starting Monday June 14th these two amazing LOA coaches are spending six full weeks at Good Vibe University leading Shift Happens: Consciously Creating New Thought Patterns.

They’re drawing on work by Max Maltz and Dan Kennedy to cover:

• How your self-image dictates what you attract into your life
• De-hypnotizing yourself from beliefs that hold you back
• Why willpower fails and how to use relaxation to succeed
• How to give your subconscious mind instructions to overcome obstacles to your desires
• Awakening the automatic success mechanism within you
• The role of imagination in manifesting success
• How to acquire the habit of happiness
• and how to avoid accidentally activating your automatic failure mechanism

The 6 week Shift Happens: Consciously Creating New Thought Patterns class with Laura Gevanter and Nancy Barry-Jansson includes  access to live weekly Skype calls, recordings, class materials and a private forum for $199.

Unless you’re an annual member of Good Vibe U, in which case you get in free.  How’s that for membership having its benefits?!

But they do have limited seats for this (23 to be exact), so if you’re interested visit Nancy’s page for details on joining.

* – and for those who are scratching their head in confusion because you thought I was boyfriend-less after the breakup in March, you’re right.  Russ is my most recent ex-boyfriend with whom I am having more fun than ever, after committing to a breakup in the vortex.  It really does just get better and better.

Anyway, I’ll see 22 of you at GVU next Monday for Nancy and Laura’s launch of Shift Happens!

Related posts:

1. Feel It First, Then It Happens
2. Power of Not Knowing How
3. It’s Just Bad Luck

You regular readers know that deliberate creation is my professional passion.

It’s what gets me excited about “work” and leveraging the law of attraction is how I’ve created success: by paying attention to how things feel and learning to manage energy in a way that lines me up for what I want.

So when Martha’s group asked me to speak on how coaches can create multiple revenue streams, I was thrilled!  Who wouldn’t want multiple income streams?!  

(Indeed, it was a topic I suggested they cover, since I see many coaches struggling as they rely solely on private client coaching income.)

But a potential scheduling conflict prevented me from confirming right away that I was available.

As I thought about it more, I realized I couldn’t deliver the presentation they wanted.  

Because what they wanted wasn’t anything I knew how to do.  At least, not in the way most people think about it.

Meaning, I couldn’t instruct people on what actions to take to make multiple income streams happen for their business. 

I don’t know what those actions are! And even if I did, I’m smart enough to know it’s not the actions that make the difference. 

Even though I have several revenue sources, I don’t know how people who don’t use LOA make that happen.  I’ve no clue!

My experience in creating multiple money in-flows is this simple: “Do what feels good.”

And Martha Beck didn’t ask me for an LOA presentation on creating multiple income streams.  Yet there isn’t any other way I could talk about it.

Because that’s exactly how it came together for me: feeling good along with an intention for big fat fun easy cash is how Universe hooked me up with all of it.

“Go have fun, let Universe connect the dots.”  I don’t know how well that would land with a non-LOA audience.  hee hee

Here’s what I did:

• I leveraged law of attraction to draw in perfect clients for one-on-one coaching income;
• a client practically insisted on publishing pray rain journaling for me to create my first product income (I’m still in huge love with him for that);
• every single corporate gig I got was from them approaching me (either they read my newsletter or blog, heard about me from a friend, or saw me present at another gig);
• each and every speaking presentation I’ve had was from simply saying yes when someone asked if I was willing;
• it was at one of those speaking gigs that the editor of one of the most sought after publications in town asked if I wanted to write for them (you mean I would get paid to write about LOA for you?!  Uh … yes!!!)
• those folks whose products I was already recommending sent me completely unexpected money for it (getting checks from “out of the blue” from Mike Dooley is super cool);
• my own readers were recommending my stuff to their friends long before I had a formal affiliate program in place.

I didn’t “make any of that happen.”  I don’t know where normal people go to get corporate coaching gigs - I went to Universe.  

I don’t know how to properly run or participate in an affiliate program – I just do what feels good and money comes from it.  

How do you get paid speaking gigs?  Don’t ask me, I just said “yes” when asked.  How did I get Catalyst to publish my stuff?  Simple answer: I turned it in after they asked for it.

I just did my thing, purposely having a good time, paying attention to (and following) what felt good, and it all came together.

That’s my presentation on how to grow multiple income streams. Decide you want it, do what feels good and follow inspiration.  Don’t sweat the “hows” or get caught up in figuring it out yourself.

It’s a short talk.  And a highly effective practice.  

You can apply it to anything you want, in fact.  Relationships, jobs, new places to live, whatever else you can think of that you want. 

Action is highly overrated for making things happen to get what we want.  The more effective approach is vibration management.

And I’ll give that talk any day. 

Related posts:

1. More Proof that Vibe Trumps Action
2. Q&A: How to Allow (Step 3 It) Without Giving Up?
3. Guest Post: Eliminating Lip Service

I’m all about easy ways to let money in, and this sounded perfect. 

Apparently it derives from a Native American tradition: the process is to light a green candle on any calendar day with an “8″ in it.  Attracts abundance and prosperity.  (Supposedly.)

So the next “8″ day that rolled around, I had a brand new green candle burning.

And while it smelled great (“lotus bamboo” – yummy!), there were no obvious cash windfalls on the heels of it.

Maybe my candle just needed a little longer to get warmed up, I thought. 

We fired up the flames on the next “8″ day.  Still no out of the ordinary money. 

Later I heard Michele say you’re supposed to set an intention as you light it. 

Duh.  That makes sense.

But even after setting my intention while lighting it on the next eight day – and this time I lit two candles (one was a darker green in case my hue was off) – still nada. 

I began to look at my candle suspiciously. 

Maybe it didn’t know the Native American tradition. 

Maybe it needed to hang out with other successful green candles to catch on.  Maybe I needed to let it burn longer.  Or maybe not so long …

… or maybe, as Nancy Barry-Jansson suggested on the GVU watercooler call today, I was falling prey to the watched pot syndrome. 

Everyone knows that syndrome, right?  That the watched pot never boils.

After all, don’t all our best manifesting stories come from times when we were just goofing off with something, playing around with a new idea, and not really paying too much attention to it? 

When we forget about it, and don’t remember it till we’re already looking at the physical manifestation of it – that’s when the stuff happens most magically.

• That’s how it worked with my first pray rain journal entry: a personal miracle manifested within hours. 
• And the first time I wrote out a page of “I am worthy” affirmations I had spectactular results the next morning. 
• And the first time I scripted, before 48 hours lapsed the very “impossible” thing I’d spoken about had happened.  (That’s one of my favorite stories from Adventures in Manifesting.)

But the next time I picked up each of these manifesting techniques, I didn’t do it with the same lightness and fooling around that I had initially.  Now that I knew they worked, I expected big things to happen.  And I looked out for those results with an eagle eye.

I think that “eagle eye” sometimes serves as a sort of unmagic wand.  Where it keeps the very thing we want from flowing in. 

Because watched pots never boil. 

Specifically, the Watched Pot Syndrome states that:

When one is anxiously focused on an anticipated result, that specific result is suspended indefinitely in time until the very moment one looks away.

(I made that up, but you already knew it, right?)

This phenomenon is observed most often with important incoming emails, red lights turning green, and phone calls from cute boys.

• It’s why my dad walks away from his fishing pole or lights up a cigarette to get a bite on the pole. 
• It’s why the first thing I used to do after sending out a newsletter was take the dogs on a walk, because if I stayed glued to the computer to see how it was received, no one would write.  (And I mean no one.)  If I left the computer, especially to engage in something fun, I was deluged with positive responses.

So the green candle big money windfall might just be waiting for me to stop looking for it.

But by now the green candle is sort of ticking me off – especially when Patty told me she’s had lots of clients report great results with it.

My opportunity here is to soften the eyes, lighten the energy, have more fun with it – and not take it so personally when Master Manifester Jeannette Maw doesn’t get the results she thinks she should be. 

Can anyone else relate?

Related posts:

1. Let Us Count the $ Ways
2. Guest Post: Magic Lists from Pernille
3. Want It Good or Want It Bad?

As with traditional archetypes, we likely exhibit a combo, and notice that it changes throughout life.

But one or two archetypes may dominate our personality and behavior when it comes to our conscious creation habits.

Keeping in mind this is just for fun (we’re not hung up on labels), see if you recognize yourself in any of the following:

The Natural
Doesn’t know the term deliberate creation and isn’t familiar with law of attraction, yet this person practices it day in and day out.  (Often to the chagrin of their LOA savvy partners.)  They’re gifted at easing into vibrational alignment and natural allowers. For them, living in alignment to what they want is simply a way of life.

The Militant
Likes to work hard at achieving their manifesting goals. Follows a strict routine to the letter.  The more complex and involved their manifesting ritual is, the better.  Satisfaction isn’t had until they’ve checked off a long list of LOA practices and techniques each day.

The Procrastinator
Knows about law of attraction and the magic of manifesting and will get around to doing it … one of these days.

The False Starter
Gets excited by someone or something (The Secret is a common catalyst to this archetype) about playing with law of attraction, but after a couple days of no results they retreat into old habits. Until the next time they get revved up … and so the cycle continues.

The Story Teller
Limits their manifesting success by telling a story about what they’re good at and what they have trouble with.  (“Why am I so good at rock star parking, but can’t get a second date to save my life?!”)

The Disbeliever
Accuses known law of attraction fans of selling snake oil. Doesn’t believe deliberate creation works and makes fun of those who do.

The Student
Has read every book and watched every video about deliberate creation, freely and supportively shares that knowledge with others, and doesn’t apply it themselves.  (The negative side of this archetype shows up as the Authority who is quick to point out, as a self-appointed expert on all things LOA, what we should all do different.)

The Uplifter
Spreads good vibes by walking the LOA talk of consistently finding something to appreciate in life, and by example inspires others to the same.  Everyone naturally feels better in the presence of an Uplifter, who will generously share the ins and outs of deliberate creation when asked.  Their positive outlook is contagious and you are most likely to find them in the vortex.

Did I miss any?  Please share!

The value of identifying our archetype(s) is that it increases our awareness and may stimulate us to a new way of embracing the art of deliberate creation.

At least, it did for me.  I don’t believe I’m a slave to my archetype.  Rather, that I can choose how I want to go through life with manifesting skills at my side.

I invite you to do the same!

Related posts:

1. Bridging the Manifesting Gap
2. Q&A: How Much Time Should I Spend Each Day?
3. Three Rs of Manifesting

Because the vortex is where everything that we want is.

So it often leaves a person wondering, okay - how do I get in there again?

The answer is simple: Feel good.  Be happy.  Find a good reason to smile.  Relax and enjoy.  Get inspired.

I’m finding that super easy to accomplish by just answering a vortex-inspiring question or two.

Here are some of my favorites:

• What’s so great about this moment?
• Wouldn’t it be nice if … ?
• What do I love most about him/her?
• What’s the good news?
• What’s right about this?
• What went my way today?
• What did I do a great job of today?

Let’s test it out now, shall we?

Pick a question, any question (from above), or make up your own similarly vortex-inspiring question.  (Share it with us if you do, please!)

Spend a minute or two answering it and see if you don’t find a noticeable improvement in how you feel!

That’s how simple it is to practice vibration management.

We’ve really no excuses, do we?

Remember this quote from Abraham (as shared in yesterday’s Get What You Want newsletter):

“If you pay the price of happiness, the manifestation will come. We promise.”

I can’t wait to hear your answers to these questions, because I suspect we’ll be surprised at how simple the answers are as well as how effective the process is!

Related posts:

1. Values: Quick Ticket to Raising the Vibe
2. Abraham’s Vortex
3. My Breakup in the Vortex

A wise colleague asked a great question about the balance between fully accepting this moment as it is and using Law of Attraction to bring something new into life.  

She wants to understand the line between complete acceptance of what is versus asking for more – when the asking is potentially an unconscious escape from what doesn’t work now.

She felt turned off by the materialistic bent to Law of Attraction, which she doesn’t feel jives with living in full acceptance of what is.  She astutely recognized that when she believes she needs something in order to be happy, there’s a problem.

Her exact words: “It seems to me to also be a possible trap of the ego to acquire more in the pursuit of the happiness that lives just beyond our fingertips.”

I initially answered that effective deliberate creation involves realizing that nothing outside of us can make us happy – no person, no thing, no experience dictates how we feel.  

Rather, that we choose how we feel and that’s the heart of manifesting – managing our vibration (thoughts, feelings, energy).  Not relying on or expecting something or someone else to do that for us.

I added that an important part of successful manifesting is releasing attachment, that as she rightly noted if we NEED this thing in order to feel fulfilled, happy, etc. we’re missing the point about “like attracting like.”  And that Law of Attraction isn’t something we use to “fix” life, but rather it’s how life works. 

LOA is not (just) a tool for “getting things.”  In fact, I don’t think it’s so much a “tool”  as it is the heart of how the world works.  And the better we understand it, the more empowered we are to enjoy life.

Which isn’t what she’s heard about Law of Attraction.

This is where you come in.  My colleague (and others like her) would benefit from hearing more about this topic, since the way she’s learned about it is simply as a tool to get things. 

(I can’t say that I haven’t contributed to that perception myself.)

She correctly notes there is mistrust about LOA in certain circles because it’s viewed as a technique for material accumulation.  She believes “if one isn’t clean in the desire, deliberate creation becomes an attempt to get things to make the unhappiness of now better with the addition of the desired object.”

It’s not that I’m looking to convince anyone of anything, but she did ask and I agree that this is a rich and important conversation.  Which is why I asked permission to take it public with this community. 

Will you weigh in on this?  What role does Law of Attraction play in your life?  How do you see LOA fitting into the big picture?

Related posts:

1. Q&A: The Role of Apologies in LOA?
2. Q&A: How to Let Go?
3. Too Good to Be True?

Some words of wisdom are worth ignoring.

Hopefully we spot those words before we learn the hard way that some advice is best ignored. 

Once we understand the role of energy and the power of attraction, we realize much traditional life advice just doesn’t make sense.

Here are a few life tips I might have been better off skipping:

1. Don’t go to bed mad

Talking when you’re mad may not be the best idea for every occasion, I have learned. 

Sometimes a good night’s sleep is the perfect answer for managing present moment conflict.  Many times all I needed was a nice dip back into non-resistant sleep to get my vibrational footing again.  It often allowed me access to a new perspective and a new vibe! 

In fact, maybe the better advice is to immediately go to bed once you get mad.  ha!

2. Don’t do yourself what you can pay someone else to do for less (than what you make) 

This advice is intended to free us up to do bigger and better things, like focus on the 20% of our activities that bring in 80% of our revenue.  (We’ve all been taught about the 80/20 rule, right?)

But what I learned through trying this one on is that it’s not all about the money. 

Rather, it’s about the enjoyment. 

If I enjoy mowing my lawn (which I do), I’m crazy to let someone else do it for me.  If I enjoy walking my dogs, it’s asinine to hire a dogwalker.  If I like vacuuming the carpets, even though I’d pay someone else a fraction of my hourly rate to do it, I’m better off experiencing that enjoyment myself, even if it doesn’t make financial sense to the rest of the world.

Because we know that when we do what we enjoy, good things come. 

Abraham shared that Esther likes cleaning the monster bus, but she likes writing the books even more.  So for her, it might make sense to outsource RV cleaning. 

What I realized is that I enjoy blogging and hosting GVU calls and creating new courses and writing ebooks way more when I have a variety of things to enjoy in life.

So mowing and cleaning and dog walking and yes, even some reality TV, are part of my daily to-do’s even though the experts tell me otherwise.  I’ll outsource it only if I can’t think of a better way to enjoy myself.   

Just because you can make more money doing your thing and pay someone else to wash the car or watch the kids or edit the articles, doesn’t mean you should.  Pay attention to the enjoyment factor.  After all, what else is the point of life?

3. Mr. Perfect doesn’t exist

When I told dad that my on-again, off-again boyfriend had proposed but I wasn’t jumping up and down with absolute joy, he said: “If you’re waiting for a saint, you can stop waiting.”  The implication was that this was as good as it gets.

Dad sure liked that guy.  (Still does!)  Probably the only guy (besides Rick Kreifeldt) he ever has liked.  (And for the record, I didn’t get to date Rick; he was my college boyfriend’s roommate.) 

Anyway, that piece of advice from dad led me to marriage.  We all know how that turned out.

With the benefit of hindsight, I like this advice better: “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no.” 

Settling just seems like we’re giving up, once we know that we really can have whatever we want.  (And if you don’t know that  by now, you haven’t studied up properly on the power of deliberate creation.)

There’s lots more typical advice out there that can lead us astray from our best life, but these are just the particular tips I went down the bumpy road with.

Would it defeat the point of this post to solicit your best tips for advice to ignore?  ha

We’d like to hear them just the same! 

PS – this post is titled with the past tense of “regret” because I don’t really regret these “wrong turns,” since I don’t actually believe in “wrong turns.”  But I find no need to repeat these steps, if you know what I mean.

Looking forward to hearing yours!

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2. Q&A: How to Enjoy Family Holiday Gatherings
3. Spring Clean Boost

The conversation arose when my coach quoted Abraham in saying that “Source doesn’t apologize.”  (She was late for a session and curbed a natural – and anticipated – apology for it.) 

Which made me wonder, if Source doesn’t apologize, then why do I find myself uttering the words “I’m sorry” so often and so easily?  Is that something I should be more conscious of?  Is there a better vibe to reach for in those situations?

And then I thought you all might help with the insights on this topic. 

Is there a better way to accomplish what we’re intending when we apologize?

One person said it’s just our “stock answer” that we give out of habitual social conditioning.  Another suggested that if it feels better to say it, then why wouldn’t we? 

Nancy had a fascinating story to share about her experience with it, and Carol quoted wisdom from Byron Katie that spoke to the reasons to skip the feeling of “sorry”: 

• “If I don’t have pain in me, I can see you as you really are.”
• “If it’s all about me than I’m not really hearing you.”
• “When you’re clear their pain is not your pain, you’re available to be there for them. You’re not afraid of their pain, because it’s not yours. It’s not about you. That’s compassion.”

What’s your take on this? 

Do you notice a dip or a rise in your vibe when you apologize?  Does it depend on the circumstance?  And is there a role for apologizing in powerful deliberate creation?

And how would you handle it when someone didn’t apologize for something that you thought might be warranted?  That one could potentially trip me up, I suspect.  (Like, Russ’ apology goes a long way toward helping me let something negative go.)

As usual, I’m looking forward to your take on the vibration of apologizing and its role in Law of Attraction!

Related posts:

1. Our Role in Co-Creating
2. Q&A: When Competing with Creators?
3. Q&A: What Feels Best?

Some of you heard me commit to having this breakup in the vortex, so I thought you were due for an update as to how that’s working out.

Quick backstory: last month Russ said he’d had enough, was crystal clear about what he wanted, and if I wasn’t prepared to make immediate and significant change (which meant limits on a friendship with an ex-beau), then we were done.

(My friendships aren’t optional – even, maybe especially, ones with ex-boyfriends.)

So we were done. 

Just like that. 

While reeling from the shock of this surprise turn of events, I turned to my cohorts in creation and committed to having the best breakup I’d ever had.  A breakup in the vortex (ala Abraham).

I’ve never had one of those (a fun, enjoyable, loving breakup?) - so I didn’t know exactly what it would be like or how to go about creating it …

… but I did know from the anger, resentment and fear that was bubbling up that I needed to get very deliberate about what I chose to feel through all this.  Or I could easily get swept up in the typical routine of what we expect a breakup to be.

So in to the vortex I headed.

That trip in started with being really upset, primarily with his idiocy, some other name-calling (in my own mind and to a compassionate girlfriend or two), and a healthy round of blame.

That might not sound like vortex material, but it was an enormous step up from the initial despair and powerlessness I felt in the first red hot moment.

So with the feeling-better momentum in place (even if it came from bad-mouthing and imagining his deep regret about making such a stupid move), I swiftly moved on to disappointment and then worked my way up to acceptance. 

(When I say swiftly, I mean a couple of days.  This didn’t happen on a dime exactly.)

And get this: after being willing to fully feel all the not-so-nice stuff, I got beautiful access to the higher vibrations!  (It always surprises me how well that turns out!)

After being willing to feel scared and mad and all that other non-fun stuff, it gave me freedom from being stuck there.  Super cool how that worked.

In that space, I had the presence of mind to remember that  big change can only mean one thing – good things coming! 

Life only gets better, so to have a big shakeup like this must mean life would get even better than before.  And I thought it was pretty good to start with, so this would be interesting to see how Universe could top it!

I had no idea what “better than before” might look like – a new house?  A new man?  A new focus on me, or maybe my work?  This house to myself?  More cats??  I didn’t know.

I couldn’t see the end result, but I reiterated to myself that it’s only going to get better. 

And I knew that would work best if I could flow some surrender and acceptance, rather than resistance.

So I got okay with it. 

In fact, after a little bit of practice with the better-feeling thoughts, I started to be excited about what would happen next! 

I actually woke up one morning, you know that moment of instant recall once you’re awake again and the flood of realization comes back about what’s happening in life – yeah, at that moment this thought spontaneously popped in, “I love my life!”

To naturally come up with that thought in the midst of an uninitiated and unwanted breakup?  I knew I was in the vortex!

Which made it easier to appreciate all that was present in my life – not knowing whether I’d be with any of it next week even.  

I soaked up the good stuff now: waking up in this fabulous bed, hearing those beautiful birds outside, seeing his ridiculous Frosted Flakes in the pantry, picking up his mail from the mailbox, dating a first rate golfer (surely that wouldn’t happen again!), admiring this gorgeous backyard, talking to him about the vote on Survivor that he missed, even something as simple as saying goodnight.

All the stuff I’d been taking for granted!  Sure I appreciated it, but not like I was NOW.  Now that I realized it might not be here tomorrow.

I mentally traced back the path to how I got here, those early dates in the beginning, what a breath of fresh air he was.  His traits of being so practical and thinking ahead and smelling so good.  And the frustrations, too!  I could even enjoy those now that I knew they wouldn’t be in my future.  No more not letting dogs on the people couch – ha!  No more over-trimming of the lawn.  Ahhhh.

It was a lot of enjoyment packed in those days. 

Not to mention a tremendous amount of love and support coming from facebook friends and GVU compadres.  That was a LOT of love you guys sent!

So here I was dripping in love at a time when – normally – one would expect to be fired up with quite the opposite feelings.

It was quite vortexy!

I emailed Russ a sweet and heartfelt note about how I imagined he might be having a rough day, because even though all this was his idea I knew it wasn’t easy for him.  I told him how much I admired his courage to do what was in his heart, and how grateful I was that he honored what mattered to him, even when I didn’t agree with it.  

And I shared my confidence that good things were in store for both of us.

I even imagined in writing to him how his next partner would be so much more what he wanted.  I could genuinely enjoy the thoughts of him being happy with someone else, especially knowing life would get better for me, too.  However that might look!

So when he brusquely asked me to stop writing him and stay out of his way until we got into separate houses, I respected his request.  I knew his way of breaking up was different than mine, and I easily accommodated his request by laying low.  I stopped sending notes and did my best to not be home when he was. 

I was turning out to be a really good ex-live-in-girlfriend!

After a few days of this, Russ sent a note (when he couldn’t reach me by phone) saying he realized he had complained about things that seemed trivial now, that we had a good life together he had taken for granted, and that he hoped there was a road back for us. 

My rather rigid response was that there was no going back, our breakup was official (it was on facebook after all) and that I wasn’t interested in “going backwards.” 

He suggested that instead of going back to how things were he was committed to moving forward to join me where I was.  In this place of love and appreciation and commitment to feeling good.

Holy hannah – he’s joining me in the vortex?!

Sure enough, that’s what the last month has been.  And continued to be once I dropped my resistance-filled “rules” about how I conduct relationships with exes.

This union is now better than it ever was – even though we’re technically “exes” – it got even better than it was before.  In too many ways to count.  (If this post weren’t already this long, I’d attempt to count some of those ways.)

Although there is one very surprising and interesting side effect I will mention from this vortex breakup: I have never had less interest in other men ever before in my entire life. 

Like, I would have expected that in having a new ex I’d feel quite single and open to possibilities – “available” in some sense – since I wasn’t in a committed relationship. 

And yet, the opposite has happened.  I couldn’t have less interest in other men.  That surprises me.

I’m feeling a level of commitment in a supposed uncommitted relationship that I definitely didn’t expect.

So I’m having the best time ever with my newest ex-boyfriend, and looking forward to more of it.  Although I know that if he changes his mind tomorrow, I know how to handle that situation quite nicely.  (Been there, done that.) 

Universe delivered exactly what I expected in a way I didn’t anticipate.  Big change ushering in even better stuff.  From my personal experience I will say that breakups in the vortex are not to be missed! 

This post isn’t done, though, until I give due credit to those of you who flooded my world with feelings of love and support.  Seriously, a girl couldn’t have a bad breakup when she’s in the midst of that sea of love!  Thanks, all.

Related posts:

1. Abraham’s Vortex
2. Ventures Out of the Vortex
3. Switching the Dial

Her energy work with clients across the globe helps them elevate consciousness, become more aware of energy, and surpass physical and emotional limitations. 

(She changed my life!)

But this email was a shocker. 

I would paste it here, but can’t bring myself to. 

Let me summarize briefly instead. 

It was a forwarded call to action to “flood” Obama’s email (they don’t even the respect to say President Obama) with instructions to veto the bill the Senate just passed (assuming it gets through the House) to ensure illegal aliens don’t get access to social security benefits. 

I was speechless. 

For a minute. 

And then recovered access to all sorts of my favorite sailor words.

So I’ve taken a deep breath.  And rather than just let this go and forget about it (this isn’t the first note she’s sent like this), there are a few things I want to say.  To remind all of us of, myself included, of the truth.

We know better than this!

First of all, even if you really believe in limitation of resources, even if you really believe the government is in charge of those resources, and even if you really believe there are some people who don’t deserve certain resources, the last thing that’s going to work for you is to push against it.

If you really think we’re not all one, and that how we treat another is not what we’re calling forth upon ourselves, and you really think you need to command the government into protecting your vested interests – this isn’t how you successfully create change.

How you go about it is like this:

Well, wait a minute.  I’m not finding super helpful instruction to someone who buys into – what I consider - false premises.

Because the fact is:

• we are all connected;
• what we wish upon another is what we call forth upon ourselves;
• there are no limitations unless we create them by believing in them; and
• the best way to get what we want is to focus on that positive end result rather than fight its opposite.

And guys, it’s up to us to practice this. 

We know how things work.

We are the leaders.

This fearful scarcity crap thinking is so outdated, it just won’t fly any more.  We know too much!

We are in a prime position to be more aware and diligent about what we are creating vibrationally.

Believe in your abundance, know that no one can prevent you from it (but yourself, and even then only temporarily), and that we can all have what we want – our happy endings fit together perfectly.

This is a clarion call to everyone out there who understands that at the foundation of our world is the law of attraction.  If we don’t change old habits, who will?

Okay, our kids will. 

But let’s not wait!  Let’s show them the way.  Let’s set the example for powerful living! 

We know too much to do it otherwise.

And I’ll start …

• by finding peace with those who do it different;
• by embracing my brothers and sisters who believe other than I do;
• by sending love to those who are discretionary about theirs;
• by remembering that we’re all deliciously human, even the ones on pedestals;
• by embracing the contrast and knowing it’s just taking us to even better places.

Now that feels better. 

Related posts:

1. More Proof that Vibe Trumps Action
2. Your Vibrational Instructions
3. How Are You Casting Your Vibrational Vote?

A major no-no for any blogger.

While I am fond of breaking rules, I also like to share the good stuff.  So I thought you all could help out here. 

What are your favorite Law of Attraction blogs?  Where do you regularly find insight and inspiration about deliberate creation?

I’ll list a couple, and am counting on you to expand the list!

Please name your favorite LOA blogs so we can share high quality content with others who might not already know about them.

A few off the top of my head (and a couple from google):

Ellie Walsh’s Living the Law of Attraction (since Ellie hosts the LOA blog carnival, I imagine she’ll know a couple to add to this list!)

Avi Marcus’ It’s an Emotional Journey

Shauna Arthurs’ Breathing Prosperity

Coach Tia’s Take Inspired Action blog

Antonio Thornton’s Thinkbanc

Linda Miller’s Law of Attraction Secrets

Hemal Radia’s Manifesting & Law of Attraction blog

John Peace’s Law of Attraction Guide

Eva Gregory’s Law of Attraction in Action (be prepared for lots of promotion, but Eva’s worth it)

Kristen’s Law of Attraction Key

Beth and Lee’s Law of Attraction and Positive Thought

Liz Gracia’s Seeds of Intentions

Zoe Routh’s Inner Compass writings

Suzie Cheel’s Abundance Highway

Jeanna Gabellini’s MasterPeace Coaching blog

Debra Gehrke’s Earth Harmony Home is always good for a vibe lift (technically not a strictly LOA blog, but you should know her just the same)

Communion of Light writings

oh, and hey – these guys threatened to keep up a blog, too!  Abraham-Hicks blog  Not much there yet, but it’s worth staying tuned into. 

Note: many very cool blogs didn’t get listed here because they either had an annoying popup, were too old (hadn’t posted in months) or too new.  If I didn’t care about being too new, though, I’d want you to know about Janette’s LOA for Me and Pernille’s LOA Magic blog.

What have I missed?  Please feel free to share your own if it’s not already here!

Related posts:

1. Using Law of Attraction to Win the Lottery
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They say that tribal consciousness holds us back by passing on belief systems like viruses being the cause of colds and AIDS, God being a higher power separate from us, and other such nonsense.

For example, Deepak Chopra says that no illness is ever due to a pathogen; that that’s a misleading idea in medicine. 

Rather he says illness is always a conspiracy of improbabilities; that a susceptible host falls prey to a pathogen.  To not be a susceptible post, we must rise above fear-engendered responses.

And our tribe is expert at fear-engendered responses.

Which is why Wayne Dyer says he left the tribe a long time ago.

But I’m thinking there might be a tribe that doesn’t handicap us, but rather empowers us to new levels of consciousness and understanding.

I’m thinking there are groups we can seek out and opt in to to leverage the power of tribal consciousness.

In fact, I might even suggest that this Good Vibe Blog community is just such a tribe!

Maybe I’m playing loose with the definition of tribe,

okay, I looked it up:

Tribe, n.  “A unit of sociopolitical organization consisting of a number of families, clans, or other groups who share a common ancestry and culture and among whom leadership is typically neither formalized nor permanent.”

I think we count.

.. regardless, I believe we don’t have to “leave the tribe” as much as we just need to choose one on purpose that supports what we’re up to. 

I believe a carefully chosen tribe could support us in achieving high levels of consciousness and along with that, huge powers of manifestation.

(In fact, Wayne and Deepak have created such tribes! I visited Deepak’s last year – it was fab!)

Personal development guru, Jim Rohn, is often quoted for reminding us to be deliberate about who we hang out with, because that group has a strong effect on who we’re becoming.

So I’ll accept Wayne and Deepak’s wise advice to consciously opt out of the particular tribal consciousness that says we are powerless players in a random and chaotic world and that there is good reason to fear others.

At the same time I’ll happily plug into the tribe that reminds me of the truth: that we are powerful creators, all connected, made of the stuff of Gods.

That’s a tribal consciousness I can get on board with. 

How about you – what is your tribe programming you with? 

This is your official invitation to take a good look at what your tribe is peddling and make a conscious new connection if it isn’t serving your highest interests. 

PS – what are your favorite tribes?  Let’s hear how you found it, what it is, and what it does for you.  Someone here may be looking to join!

Related posts:

1. Look, Choose, Move
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3. More Proof that Vibe Trumps Action